in the cellar of the monastery, there was this huge winepress, it filled the space of the cellar from floor to ceiling. i had never seen a winepress before, but as we stood beside it -- the looming strength and the precise engineering of this beautiful tool brought paul's words to mind -- seeking to be broken bread and poured out wine for the Lord.

i forgot all about that moment in the st. lawrence monastery until this morning when i was reading oswald chambers and he said:

This call [Colossians 1:24] has nothing to do with personal sanctification, but with being made broken bread and poured-out wine. God can never make us wine if we object to the fingers He uses to crush us with...if ever we are going to be made into wine, we will have to be crushed; you cannot drink grapes. Grapes become wine only when they have been squeezed.

i often object to the very hands in my life that God is probably using to crush -- to create something outside of myself. this image of the winepress has become very important to me as i look over the events of the last few weeks...and the journey that lies ahead. i know there is the potential for the uncertain events of my future to be used for the extraction of His sweet goodness planted within -- that it would be useful to more than just myself.

my prayer: help me Lord.

i have just embarked on one of the most daunting and yet incredible tasks of my small life thus far. i am happy beyond reason, but also incredibly frightened by its enormity...knowing i will only be able to take it one single step at a time (just as the rest of my life, but for some reason it seems, that under pressure, our steps become so much more deliberate).