hola

well, i know its been a long time since i've been online when i can't even remember the web address for my own blog?!...i thought it was like erased or something until i found it by using the blogroll from a friend's blog ;o)

anyways. now i'm back in civilization and i am so very excited to share a million stories from camp and laugh about all the crazy things that happened...things no one else will understand or find relevant...probably they wouldn't even laugh. oh well, i guess i can keep the details to myself, but i am so very greatful for the incredible lessons i learned this summer and all of the friendships God blessed me with. perhaps some of these things my friends down the mountain will still find somewhat interesting and relevant to their own lives!

i am still somewhat in a stupor, hoping the overwhelming fog will soon lift and i will be able to make sense of all that i experienced over the last eleven weeks. eleven weeks! in some ways that seems like a significant chunk of time, but really, its nothing. i suppose someday i'll look back and wonder what i was thinking when i signed up to spend a summer the way i did, but right now i couldn't be more thankful for all i experienced.

when i close my eyes i can smell the fresh scent of the crisp mountain air and feel the warmth of the sunshine -- and the sentimental mushy side of me wants to freeze time in that place. and then faces. face after face flashes in my mind and i smile to think they each tasted and saw a tiny glimpse of the goodness of the Lord. counselors, campers, parents, full-time staff. everyone felt it and saw it and smelled it. whether they knew it or not, God's goodness was all around them. the strange thing is, we don't even have to go anywhere to taste God's goodness. i don't know why getting away from everything allows His fragrance to more easily reach our souls, but the Truth is, His amazing love is just as real when i'm sitting on i-25 behind a million red tailights as it is when i am sitting on the porch of my cabin listening to the wind rush through the trees.

maybe its because i am such a sappy romantic. maybe its because i wasn't born for rush our traffic. whatever the reason, i seem to be so very captured by God's love when the voices around me are stilled. its in those moments that i know so cleary, undoubtedly, and with unwavering confidence that the sweetness my heart dreams of is real.

sometimes i settle for the shortlived imposters of this world. and always i find myself playing the jaded lover. but this summer i caught myself crying out "Lord save my heart!" and He whispered back "I already did."

i guess what i'm realizing is that my events have just been a bit out of order. all along i've known that i've wanted it, all along i've known it was there. i just was waiting for it to come find me and sweep me off my feet...and all along He's just been waiting for me to dream bigger.

"teach us to number our days aright, that we might gain a heart of wisdom." psalm 90:12