about a boy

sometimes people ask me what i've learned over the past three months. i suppose with the whole camp experience and now my decision to head off to seattle it would be reasonable for others to wonder what it is that the Lord has revealed to me over these passed few months that's lead me to the place i now find myself.
well, at first glance, i'm not sure i would even be able to begin to articulate the work the Lord has done in my life. somedays i feel like i have progressed so very much and other days i think i have taken a million and a half steps in the wrong direction.
does one ever truly have the ability to guage their own position in reality?
and yet i feel the question has been posed. if i answer incorrectly i forfeit my very heart, but if i am correct in my assumption that i have grown i have a world opportunity before me.
dare i accept such a challenge? would my heart be able to bear the consquences of such jeopordy? does true love require such transformations in the one it loves or does it simply devote itself to bearing with the loved one's burdens?
we all carry burdens do we not? none will be simply perfect and in fact if it was a weakness of mine, though i might have grown i have not fully overcome. for even a structural weakness -- though perhaps buffered and reinforced by surrounding bodies will remain eternally an intrinsic weakness.
"may integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in You." psalm 25:21

i dreampt that you would someday return
to my surprise you've come,
bearing with you the very words my heart has chased
but would it ever be enough?
my fragile heart you once wholly erased

i rise to greet you with hopes unseen
but could you ever know?
i relish the unreal thought in my midnight dreams
but when awakened to see it
daylight proves it might not be what it seems