hate to love and love to hate her

today is a very rainy grey seattle day and i find myself sitting in a cozy little coffee shop attempting to be a diligent student...but my mind wanders...across the table from me sits a girl who looks not unmuch like myself -- with a stack of MCAT study books piled under her chair ;o) i guess sometimes it is good to get the chance to glimpse in the mirror and catch a reflection of who we really have become.

sometimes i think i have become exactly what i always hoped i would not. like an ironically paradoxical self-fullfilled prophecy (?!) but then every once in awhile we are given an opportunity to make a break for it...to live a life totally unlike anything we have ever known before. (ah! but why is it so maddeningly difficult to make the most of those opportunities?)





so i guess more than anything i just hate it when the silly choices of my life seem to invade the lives of others...i only wish i didn't have such a terrible habit of making a fool of myself.

oh, joy!

yea! who would have thought an afternoon to myself in the middle of the week would be such a pleasant and eagerly accepted gift?! an opportunity to explore new parts of the city, chat with my loved ones and even contribute to my meager little blog! ;o)

so the weather here has been very uncharacteristically sunny! driving home from school i catch myself looking twice because the mountains on the horizion are such an unexpected (though very welcome) sight! as much as i am learning to love and appreciate a new climate there are moments when i can't help but wish that i might wake up in the morning to peek out my window and see a peaceful blanket of snow quietly resting on the landscape...in fact there is a slight possibilty of snow this coming weekend, which leaves me anxiously awaiting the weatherman's surmise on friday evening!!!!

so it feels odd to share my personal accounts of life in seattle...perhaps some sort of random thought would be more fitting...well, the truth is i think school is slowly siphoning every last ounce of creativity from my fragile brain...so i will instead borrow some creativity from one of my favorite and most inspiring poets:



IT sifts from Leaden Sieves--
It powders all the Wood.
It fills with Alabaster Wool
The Wrinkles of the Road--

It makes an Even Face
Of Mountain and of Plain--
Unbroken Forehead from the East
Unto the East again--

It reaches to the Fence--
It wraps it Rail by Rail
Till it is lost in Fleeces--
It deals Celestial Veil

To Stump and Stack--and Stem--
A Summer's empty Room--
Acres of Joints where Harvests were,
Recordless, but for them--

It Ruffles Wrists of Posts
As Ankles of a Queen--
Then stills its Artisans--like Ghosts,
Denying they have been--


-Emily Dickinson

my sweetie!!!!!

ahh valentine's day -- the day of love ;o) i have so much to say and yet at the same time i am speechless. i think i just wonder what i ever did without it!