who i am?

evidently my career as an existential memoir-ist has come to a close. from here on i will do my best to s-p-e-l-l it o-u-t. so life in rachelle's world is strange...i guess what else is new right? currently i am listening to avril lavigne and realizing that just as lavigne is pronounced 'luh-veen' so it would follow that lamontagne would be pronounced 'luh-mahn-tahn' hmmm. (for the critics...i'm not trying to be cryptic -- just a thought i thought i'd share)

i went to the mountains this weekend. and it was so refreshing to be so close to creation. i guess sometimes when i get all caught up in life here at school i forget all of the millions of tiny little things that make me, well, me.

i didn't come back to this quarter with the best of attitudes -- that is an understatement...i boarded the plane with tears in my eyes and i really haven't stopped throwing a tantrum until now.

life is so weird. you know, things don't turn out the way you would have expected. and that can be a little unsettling at times. but i guess it is the unexpected beauty that really makes life rich.

i still haven't a clue where my life is headed. but i am more okay with that now than i have ever been before.

i planted a vegetable garden today. it was just what i needed. (we'll have to stay tuned to see whether anything will actually grow) a little something to look forward to i guess. and my hands were so full of rich, dark soil and my clothes got dirty and i discovered caterpillars and earwigs and these really odd little red slugs. as spring blossoms at our house we are discovering all of the love and attention this home has seen -- lilac bushes and blue bells and tulips and irises and rose bushes and bamboo and poppies...it is really incredible, really.

and again, i am reminded to wait and watch. His hand is at work all around, i needn't do a thing.

i am humbled,

and i am weak,

but his strength is perfect in my weak spots...and so i am strengthened...by His great grace.










'we throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. we find ourselves stnding where we always hoped we might stand -- out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.'
romans 5:2

love is...

suffering from a bit of insomnia due to difficulties deciding what to do with my life. and learning that junk food does not help the process.

is it still considered escapism if i promise to return to reality in an hour? entering my own little space and finding a moment of peace...

monday afternoon i realized i am far more ray lamontagne than i am slim thug. this is an important distiction that i believe every girl must come to differentiate for herself at some point.

other than that... today pondering the likelihood of being accepted by the sisters of st. joseph of the third order of st. francis. hoping yes, but thinking no.
last night i had a jelly doughnut, pork chops and a banana split. i didn't fall asleep until sometime after 1:01 am.
two days ago i discovered a hippo in my backyard and shared a front porch moment with the neighborhood racoon.

moment of glory

okay, so i know personal boasting is not a considerably attractive trait, but seriously if you can't brag on your blog where can you brag??? ;o)

today i had delusions of grandeur centered on a trip to the cascades and a lovely day in the mountains. unfortunately my plans were detained due to circumstances beyond the scope of this anecdote.

and so i was left with a void.

a completely free, unplanned, beautifully sunny, seattle sunday afternoon. i must say the sun was intoxicating. i was sitting in my front yard and could barely move after returning home from church and discovering an insanely beautiful day awaiting. and as i was lazily daydreaming in my yard, i began to realize just how unkempt our little 'lawn' (composed mainly of dandilions, pine needles and this really strange tall tall grass-ish plant) had become. i guess house-renting is a little different than apartment-renting in more ways than the purchasing-a-gas-dryer-oops-incident that occured earlier in the year!

so hmmm. i set out on a quest to conquer the yard...and conquer i did! i was so proud of my courageous traverse into the very strange but oh-so-seattle-normal 'untied airlines' cargo sheds that reside in our backyard. although a bit hesitant at first, my quest was not in vain. amid the many rusting rakes, shovels, push brooms, unidentifieable flotation devices, terra cotta pots, cobwebs and mouse nests...to my surprise i discovered not only an electric weed-wacker but also an electric mower -- what fortune! and so began a laborious, glorious, strangely romantic afternoon in the sun of 'lawn' grooming! it was truly fantastic. just as i so unfortuitously was unaware of the existence of gas clothes dryers i was equally unaware of the electric verision of a lawn mower -- you know how when you vaccum it can be so annoyingly difficult to avoid running over the cord? well, i discovered the same laws of confoundment apply.

anyways, after my surprisingly productive afternoon outdoors i was just wrapping thing up -- winding the amazingly extensive extension cords -- when a neighbor came calling. literally. i heard this guy callling from around the corner, so i responded and he emerged in the yard and his face changed from surpirse to disappointment when his voice fell and he said 'oh, i thought surely i would find a guy back here...' yes!!!!!! i love it. as i tried to supress my welling, i-feel-like-i-just-got-a-gold-star-on-my-math-tables pride i told him i was sorry to dissapoint and he continued to explain that he was having trouble moving a table up his stairs and heard the mower and thought he would find some true muscles -- not just little old me (oh what? this old thing??? wink. wink.) he he. it was a victorious moment in my small little life. a victoriously lovely ending to a truly splendid afternoon.

i know al gore might be a little dissapointed in me but....i heart electric lawn mowers!
(okay, someday i'll try a push-mower al)

oh! the depth

after listening to some thoughts from john piper and reading a blog from a friend in a far off country, i am moved. so very utterly, speechlessly moved. to thank our God for His grace. it is often difficult to put into words, how, exactly, we came to be followers of Jesus Christ. even more difficult when our ability to refer to the Bible is taken from us. but even so. when we have no tools at all. His truth transcends.


if it were not for His sunsets and sunrises. if it were not for the sound of the wind through the trees, or the ocean waves on the shore. if were not for the vastness of a starry night-time sky. where would my hope come from? oh! the depth of His grace to us, that we are without excuse. His fingerprints surround us and His very creation whispers our name. we are loved, we are precisely fashioned and we are here, now, for such a time as this.